One-night poem

I'm wearing the same underwear you saw me in that time.
If you don't recall, it is light pink and lime.
It reminds me of that day, the alcohol, the music and the cigarettes.
I remember the moonlight drawing softly in the wall our silhouettes.
I remember that day, when I finally had you just for my own.
I remember that hug in the end, the sweat, and your cologne.
You through me away, and I realised that you didn't care about me eventually.
And I managed to let you know that I gave a shit about you too, foolishly.
The childish illusion, makes me dream of you, every single day.
Hoping to find that you desperately want me someday.
The childish illusion covers the reality that you are just another name in my "things I desire but I can not posses" list.
That we share just one nice night.
And that you are just one memory that disappears in the mist.

Dancing on the clouds

Sin darme cuenta, sentí que algo humedecía mi mejilla.
Ya me había olvidado como se sentía.

Just

Let the right one in

Butterfly Effect

Me sorprende que tan fácil y rapidamente mi corazón se obsesiona y liga a algo totalmente provisorio.

Eternal

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)


I tried, but I lied.

Fuck me, my mind and my questions.

And what if i was born somewhere else? Some other neighborhood, country, or continent? Think about it, how my body would be. What color my hair would have, even my skin may be different. My mind, likes and dislikes. So then, what's left to my heart and soul? Is it destined to be garbage and fail, or is a possibility that it could have beaten of happiness like a clock counting the seconds of my existence? Could that be possible? And, damn it, what if I’ve made other choices?. I shivered.

Im sorry

It's been a long time since I give my heart away to some soulless creature - I think that maybe it was stolen, but never mind -, and it have not been returned yet. So, I wanted to say that I am sorry, very sorry. I cannot give you what I do not possess. I'm empty. I cannot give you what you ask. And it hurts, you know? Because I want it, and I want you so bad.

Tic tac

Time Is Running Out - Muse

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me
Yeah, you will be the death of me

Bury it,
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

And our time is running out
And our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom,
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped,
Sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

And you will squeeze the life out of me

Bury it,
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?

Insomnia

"You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama — twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl’s virtue."

¿Qué carajo me pasa? Dios, noche sin sueños ni pesadillas, tampoco sin dormir ! Esto está llendo demasiado lejos. Estoy muy sacada y no entiendo que está pasando por mi cabeza. En fin, me levanté temprano, subí al colectivo y me fui para piano, que, por suerte, me bajó un poco el temperamento. Hace mil años no iba, y colgué hablando con lau de películas de la década pasada y de libros. Tengo que ver y leer mil cosas ! Ahora espero que se conecte el sir matías para ver la película por 3° vez, no me gusta tanto pero whatever, tengo dos por uno :D . Au revoir

Anesthetics

10 días para mi cumple si, si, si.

[...]" Meaningless. All of it was meaningless. My very existence was meaningless.
The whole world was meaningless.
My forehead pressed against my knees, and I wondered how much longer I would be able to stand this. Maybe it was hopeless. Maybe, if my attempt was doomed to failure anyway, I sould stop torturing my self and just go back...
The idea was so powerful, so healing - like the words contained a strong anesthetic, washing away the mountain of pain I was burried under - that it made me gasp, made me dizzy.
I could leave now, I could go back.
Her face, always behing the lids of my eyes, smiled at me.
It was a smile of welcome, of forgiveness, but it did not have the effect my subconscious probably intended it to have.
Of course I could not go back. What was my pain, after all, in comparison with her happiness? She sould be able to smile, free from fear and danger. Free from a longing for a soulless future. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than me. When she left this world, she would go to a place that was forever barred to me, no matter how I conducted myself here.
The idea of that final separation was so much more intense than the pain I alerady had. My body shook with it. When she went on to a place where she belonged and I never could, I wuld not linger here blind. There must be oblivion. There must be relief.
That was my hope, but there were no guarantees. To sleep, perchance to deam. Ay, there's the rub, I quoted myself. Even when I was ash, would I somehow still feel the torture of her loss?
I shuddered again.
And, damn it, I'd primised. I'd promised her that I wouldn't haunt her life again, bring my black demons into it. I wasn`t going back into my word. Couldn't I do anything right by her? Anything at all?
The idea of returning to the cloudy little town that would always be my true home on this planet snaked through my thoughts again.
Jus to check. Just to see that she's well and safe and happy. Not to interfere. She would never know I was there...
No. Damn it, no. "[...]

Cheating Dreams

"Of course I was bad. Wasn`t I rejoicing now, that she thought better of me than I deserved? If I were a good person, I would have stayed away from her."

Desupés de varias semanas, volví a levantarme tarde por al misma razón. Otra vez esos sueños estúpidos que no quiero tener y me dejan con la conciencia sucia toda la tarde! ¿Culpa?. Prece que mi boca dice que quiere una cosa y mi cabeza otra, aunque sea en sueños. Basta ya.